Thursday, 7 September 2017

Freedom of the Press.



Hello peops!

For various reasons including that well known condition of blogger’s block (ooh er misses), writers’ cramp (titter ye not misses this is an awful condition makes your wrist and fingers go all funny), illness, retirements, pregnancies, recruitment issues, changes in the team and none of the other issues that ever affect any real general practices in the UK to their detriment, if you believe certain daily tabloids whatsoever at this moment in time, the team at ND Central have been off line for a while.

It does not mean that we have been idle in providing healthcare to most of whom do not need it, but for whom it is just a freebie (whatever), we have just not had time for posting for in contrast to all those “busy working people” who never consult their GPs we have, for some strange reason, spent our increasingly few and limited resources dealing with more “busy working people” who claim to need healthcare despite the population allegedly getting healthier.

So we at ND Central are no different to the rest of UK general practice just busy doing nothing other than drawing daily lots to see which one partner/salaried GP/GP registrar or F2 trainee doesn’t get to play golf each day and as a result has to do some work – just what Jeremy and the DoH believe is what GPs do daily while delivering 90% of UK healthcare for 8% or less of the total NHS budget. Bloody over paid slackers.

What we have noticed is that one of the few sections of the Press that once reported on general practice as it is now are restricting access to their material. What is interesting is that in order to access this you now need a GMC number.

While we know we are thick oop North it does seem that this action may play directly into the Party’s hand for does not the Party assure us all that General Practice is well, well-funded, fully manned, on track to deliver another 5000 extra GPs by 2020 and able to deliver appointments via such organs as NHS 111, pharmacists, walk in centres et al at all times of the day in the face of reality in the nanosecond you want it?

If certain more enlightened parts of the Press that report on matters General Practice veritas become more restricted in their release of relevant stories does not this accentuate the believability of Party organs such as NHS Pravda sorry NHS Digital or the Daily Fascist?

Interestingly full access to their content is allowed to all currently GMC registered doctors so if you are retired, a medical student or a concerned member of the public bad luck. Mmmm.

Does that mean that now certain once GP centered magazines will be providing “anonymized” data via GMC numbers to the Party to ensure that all GPs will be able to provide to their Party funded appraisers but non funded appraisees your GP who has to take time out from your healthcare to endure this retarded process proof that they are only reading Party approved Pravda articles via their CPD programme called appraisal?

Praise be for NHS propaganda and Party care. Other such state sponsored benevolences are available elsewhere in the world for free too and sponsor important healthcare development programs called missiles, Choose and Book, NHS Universities, NICE and so on.


Sunday, 5 March 2017

Fat bastards.



There are some articles that should never be published and yet need to be published to illustrate how poor the NHS and its management is and this is one such article.

So one in three GPs have offended their fat bastard patients by talking about their patients’ weight and the slight possibility that it might have a negative impact on their poor health. 

Oh dear, how sad, never mind. 

As we all know no fat bastard ever puts any food whatsoever into their own mouths, it is always someone elses' fault but when giant haystacks develops a medical problem it is always the NHS’s responsibility and of course the GPs’ fault that they are fat and as a result ill. 

GPs as certain areas of the press frequently report are responsible for all areas of ill health in the UK and that of course includes fat bastards. Given that GPs do nothing else all day other than feed tub after tub of double cream, double chocolate gateaux, fried Mars bars, fish and chips, pizzas, kebabs etc. into their NHS patients’ mouths without their patients’ consent this is completely understandable. 

As some who comment after the above article say they have had complaints about commenting on fat bastards’ weights something that should be no different to pointing out smoking and alcohol habits and their ill effects on patients’ health but for some reason the limp wristed political nancies at NICE think obesity is different.

Clearly no one at NICE did any science and will fully support every fat bastard’s assertion that they have solved the energy crisis as every fat bastard never eats anything, they always eat healthily and are always on the go. The so called Triple that no GP in the whole of the United Kingdom has ever heard when discussing obesity before the complaint from the wise.

They, sorry comrades, comrade fat bastards must be the only people on the planet who have cars which if you start with half a tank of petrol, drive 300 miles at 100 mph nonstop land up with more petrol in the tank at the end than they started with? And of course that will be their GPs’ fault too if it ever happened in the real world.

Curiously none of these fat bastards have ever won a Nobel Prize for rewriting the laws of thermodynamics but will always win the prizes for self-inflicted misuse of the NHS which as we all know is completely free at the point of self centered abuse when they get ill through no fault of their own.

Praise be to the Party for being so NICE to fat bastards it makes them feel valued misusers of the NHS rather than self-inflicted consumers of it through no medical professionals’ fault just their own greed and selfishness.




Welcome back once again to Northernshire.

For the people that govern us anything above the mythical Watford Gap is as Germany was to Ancient Rome a barbarian nation full of hairy warlike peoples with no brains who say Ecky Thump, drink beer, eat fish and chips and race whippets and pigeons while placing ferrets down their trousers. For many of our governors anything north of the Thames is out world as beyond the Houses of Parliament does not exist. 

By way of (re) introduction we are a group of healthcare professionals who have lived in Northernshire for most (but not all) of our lives and work as practising clinicians in various capacities in one of the most affluent areas of Northernshire where private health care abounds, smoking and drinking do not exist and all our patients are Guardian, Country Life and Tatler readers and so if some of what we say is crap you know why.

Most of our observations will be based on those made by our fellow healthcare professionals who work around Northenshire and whose thoughts and observations we have paraphrased here as we pride ourselves as being slightly artistic among the cynical scientists with whom we are forced to work. Their comments will be protected as far as is possible to protect their idents from the various local Starzis that would not like their Soviet or local politburo (PCT=Primary Care Trusts) or now CCG, CQC and other masters’ thoughts and actions to be known to their fellow comrade patients whose health they seek to disrupt in the name of the true God of cheap healthcare called Prudence or in its latest guise STPs (Sustainability and Transformation Plans) which is known elsewhere in the free world as care ont the cheap. 

Competing interests declared as per scientific journals: 

Only one. 

Ensuring good quality health care to the patients for whom we care against the wishes of the Party.

Resistance may be futile but is needed to protect patients from the Party and its organs.

Now read on.